


maybe its us (maybe its me)

by sseriwoos



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Falling Out of Love, Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, also platonic seriwoo, its once again in woobin's perspective i am sawry, jungmo is just ... idk, mogubin, sad woobin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseriwoos/pseuds/sseriwoos
Summary: our love is like a fiction love story, where the ending hurts you
Relationships: Koo Jungmo/Seo Woobin
Kudos: 14





	maybe its us (maybe its me)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i took a break from writing bcs of my writer block :< and i came back with nothing lmao, this is seriously just a short drabble i came up after watching this mogubin edit at twitter, i hope you enjoy this, and yes its my first time writing for a different pairing ><

It’s 11:00 pm. The ticking of the clock pissed him off as he keeps on waiting. His eyes wander to all the foods he prepared in front of him, thinking that he had once again outdone himself. A sigh left his lips as he ruffles his hair in frustrations. He checks on his phone, only to be disappointed because there are no text messages or missed calls or just anything in particular but the date itself broke his heart to pieces.

Maybe it's himself. Maybe it's the way he is so busy with work. _But Jungmo is busy too_ , he thought to himself. He is too tired to stand up and walk to their bedroom. Their. It's so ironic to call it theirs now that they haven’t been sharing the same bed for almost 3 months.

Woobin thought that maybe Jungmo needs time, and he will eventually come back, on this day, on this particular day.

But he didn’t and today is their 5th anniversary. 

-

The food was left untouched. The clock is pointing at 1:00 am and Woobin wants nothing more than just to lay down and cry but his anger surrounds him more than his sadness. He is angry for himself, he is angry because he was and is never good enough, he is angry that he can make people fall out love.

He is angry that Jungmo doesn’t love him the same way anymore and it’s not his fault because people can fall out love and that includes him and Jungmo. But, god the way his heart cracked every time they keep becoming distant and distant. As if everything that they have spent together doesn’t matter to the later anymore and it hurts so fucking much, he feels suffocated every time. He is in a dazed again, staring into an empty space, waiting.

The sound of the click from the front door alerts him up as he quickly got out of his bedroom to greet the love of his life, _maybe, just maybe if I reach out to him first again, we will be back to how it was before._

Woobin’s eyes are red, in anger or sadness he doesn't know, but he was crying. The tears just fell silently when their eyes met. 

There just in front of him, stood the man he loves so much, but his heart is once again broken to see how disheveled does the later look. “Where did you go? It’s already 1 am.” He approaches the later, tries to hold on to his arms but to no avail, the later just push him softly. 

"I need to pack my stuff." And Woobin can hear the sounds of everything crashing down.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his voice lacing with fear, fear of being left alone.

Jungmo pinches the bridge of his nose, his back facing the later, trying so hard to word his sentences so he wouldn't sound like he is running away. Turning around, he was met with a tear-streak Woobin, the Woobin who only comes out when he is too weak to think anymore.

"Ruby..”

“.. let's end this, alright?” 

-

His mind is spinning and he laughs again. _Maybe everything is just a sick joke_ , he feels like he is floating around, his mind is in a daze, he doesn't want to think. He swings the soju in his hand again, only to be left in a disappointment when there's nothing left in the bottle.

Walking towards the kitchen, he pulled the drawer and take out every single bottle of soju left, there isn’t much though, he already down a whole 4 bottle to himself only. 

“One more bottle won’t hurt anyone~” He slurs. 

He sat down slowly on the kitchen floor, back leaning against the wall as he drinks his 5th bottle of soju for the day. The taste is hurting his throat but he felt good. His eyes again staring into nothing, he seriously felt like he needed help but he doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. 

_Maybe I deserve this._

His phone is suddenly blaring, breaking the crippling silence. He stares at the screen, wondering why must this one hyung called him but his mind is too lazy to think further, he pressed the green button and left it on a loudspeaker. 

Woobin then proceeds to laugh because he is already too tired to even cry, its sadness, its anger, its loneliness. Its everything at once. 

“Ruby... Why are you laughing like that? Where are you right now? Tell me, I’ll come to you, hm?” The sound of concern coming from his phone just makes him want to cry and laugh at the same time.

“Hyung~ I’m okay I guess, maybe it’s the alcohol but I never felt the need to just vanish from this world. It would be better for everyone right? I deserve this right?”

“Ruby, listen to me first please, tell me where you are right now.”

“-I’m scared Serim hyung. I feel so suffocated here, all the memories just crashing down on me and I feel on edge every time because it’s my fault. It’s always me.”

Serim sigh again, his eyebrows furrowing together, the younger is clearly isn’t doing right. The phone is still against his ear as he quickly grabs his car key and his jacket, leaving his house compartment to the younger’s house whom he shares with his best friend, Jungmo. He knows something isn't right with their relationship lately. But he didn't think it would even reach this point. “Don’t hang up on me, Seo Woobin. Stay where you are, I will come to you.”

-

Upon reaching the younger’s apartment complex, the first thing that hit him is how the small living room is reek with alcohol. Serim quickly walks through the hallway and the first thing he saw is how small Woobin looks on the floor, curling on himself. His heart dropped to see the amount of soju bottle spiraling around, and his heart dropped even more to see a picture crushed inside the younger’s fist; it’s a picture of both Jungmo and Woobin during their graduation day, the day Jungmo confessed to him. 

The younger is fast asleep and Serim crouch down slowly, his hand ruffling the younger’s sweaty hair, realizing that he actually caught a fever. 

“Ruby.. wake up, hyung is here,”

The younger is a light sleeper but when he is drunk, he seems to sleep the longest of time so it's not even a surprise to see that he didn't even budge. The elder slowly carries him towards his bedroom, knowing that he would wake up feeling like shit, he opted on staying for the night. He couldn't miss the way there isn't any trace of Jungmo anymore in the bedroom and he sighed again for the nth time. 

Wrapping the blanket around the younger's small figure, he then sat at the edge of the bed, and look at how sad does the younger look. The tears streaked face of him and the way his fist curl into himself as if he is scared of everything around him.

“What happened to the both of you..”

He couldn't help but ask himself. Both Jungmo and Woobin seem so perfect for each other, like a fiction love story, every little detail fall so perfectly following the plot but every fiction love story got different ending and in this case,

The ending isn’t beautiful.

-

Bright lights hitting his eyes making the dull ache gradually turns worse, he felt like puking too. He wants to get up from the bed but his body feels so sore and weak, a small cry left his lips and before he could even move, Serim is already there right beside him, holding the bucket for him to throw every single bile that rose in his throat. 

He has so many questions running in his minds right now but then reality hits him and he is once again crying. “Serim hyung..”

"Yes, Ruby?"

“You should go home. I can handle myself.” And Serim just stares at the younger, his face showing how much he disagrees with whatever the younger said.

“Do you even realized that you catch a fever from last night’s drinking?? Who told you to drink 5 bottles of soju? I put my number as your second emergency contact number for a reason Seo Woobin.”

“Did Jungmo told you?” And Serim couldn't help but hear how the voice waver, "Did he told you about how I’m not good enough for everyone? Did he also tell you why did he leave me? Hyung, what did I do? What should I do to be good enough?"

Woobin’s eyes are just empty, there’s no emotion at all but the tears running down his face like streams and that worries the elder, taking the younger’s hand in his, Serim sit cross-legged in front of him, proceeding on holding the younger’s face in both of his hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb softly, “You did nothing Ruby.” 

“Liar.”

-

_"Ruby, listen to me, please?"_

_“It was never your fault. It was never your fault so please don’t make this harder for me. I don’t want you to suffer anymore.”_

_“Then don’t leave me..”_

_“I will keep hurting you if I don’t, we will keep hurting each other. I don’t want to keep on pretending that I’m still in love with you when I don’t. You deserve someone better and it’s not me.”_

_“You know you will just hurt me more if you leave me, if you leave us..”_

_“I’m sorry Ruby, I really am, I-“_

_“It’s our 5th anniversary Jungmo.”_

_The surprised face on Jungmo’s broke Woobin’s heart even more realizing that the man he thought would be his forever didn’t even remember their anniversary anymore. “You didn’t remember..”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

-

It’s been a month since it happened. He is barely eating well but his two hyungs keeps on coming to his house to make sure he eats at least once a day. (“Ruby!!! If you don’t eat I will force Allen to feed you, which one do you want? Me or Allen hyung???” “Ruby, let’s play video games! I will force Serim hyung to lose for you, I promise!”) Staring into nothingness, he brought his guitar along to his apartment’s balcony. Prickling the guitar string, he sang softly. 

He didn’t even realize but his tears fell down slowly and he just let it be. He misses Jungmo so much, he misses how the later would wrap his arms around his waist as they watch the stars together. He misses how they would cook dinner for each other and fight which dishes taste the best, which he always won. He misses the stares Jungmo gave towards him when they made love. He misses kissing those plush lips, telling how much he loves him for himself, telling how much he needs him in his life. He misses him so much, he is barely even holding up but he is trying. 

It’s like losing a part of himself and he wanted to be selfish for once. He wanted Jungmo to feel what he felt too, what it is like when your heart feels like its breaking into nothing. But deep inside his heart, he wishes for him to always be happy. 

Even with or without him. It doesn’t matter, as long as Jungmo is happy, he would be happy too. 

“Mogu-ya~, if ever we will cross path again, let’s never blame each other anymore. I know that I’m not yours anymore but I would want to be yours for one last time. I love you so much Koo Jungmo, I still do.”

“Sincerely yours, Seo Woobin.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write something beautiful for mogubin but i came up with angst instead im so sorry hshsh, also! if you know TOO, give their new song a listen! Its called Count 1, 2 ^^ (my favorite b-sides from their album is Taillight <3)


End file.
